omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
