Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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