Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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