Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
