You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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