what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
