we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
