Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I look better un-naked...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize