Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
