THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
