I looked at my own cervix.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
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THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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