so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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