we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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