hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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