Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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