this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
