We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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