You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
