lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
