Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
