Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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