she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ttyl tear gas
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
