Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
