tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
