Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
