So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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