She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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