he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I will be naked everywhere
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
