Welp...herpes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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