brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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