I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
