Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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