The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
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