i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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