I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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