That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
