I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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