She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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