yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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