I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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