Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
