Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
