she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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