Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
well, you know. whores of a feather.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
