I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
