i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
