did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
