i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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