this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
