Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
