I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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