Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
