I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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