So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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