Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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