Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
