If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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