I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
there's paper in my vomit.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober