actually, I'm a sock model
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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