grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
